Are my kids ready for a smartphone? When should I let my child get social media?
I just found out my child has been accessing porn, what do I go? Tips and ideas for parents!
My Child Has Been Watching Porn, What Do I Do?
Love them. Don’t freak out. Ask questions. Listen. Let them know it’s natural to be curious but porn is harmful in many, many ways. Here are resources to help guide this conversation.
How Do I Talk to My Kids About Porn?
Start early if can. Experts say before they ride the school bus! It can sound like this, “Honey, now that you are going to school and riding the bus we need to tell you how to handle certain situations to keep you safe ok? You might see a naked body on someone else’s screen. You need to look away as fast as possible and: a. tell an adult asap b. run/walk away and go tell an adult. You will never be in trouble and it’s never your fault ok?”
Can Social Media Be Used Safely?
“Can you have a healthy relationship with a predator?” Jason Frost, The Glass Between Us
Social media companies want to exploit and hijack your children’s underdeveloped brains for maximum time spent on their apps! They care nothing for your child’s mental well-being.
Every 8 minutes, someone between the ages of 10-24 attempts suicide because of social media. Nick Rotolo, Scrolling to Death Podcast.
Why is Everyone Making a Big Deal About Porn?
Because we believe what we see and hear over time and porn dehumanizes people, especially women. It teaches that girls/women are objects to be used and discarded. It will shape your sexual template to one of violence and misogyny (hate of women). It won’t prepare you to be a loving partner if that’s something you want in your future?!
What is your House Screen Rules For a Tween Without Their Own Device?
No screens Monday – Thursday, those are school days. No screens Sunday, unless it’s a family show. Fridays and Saturdays 45 min. on approved shows. In the same room, not down in the basement, headphones off, sound up.
Not approved: YT Shorts, social media, mindless scrolling!
Approved: Dude Perfect, Mark Roberg, Disney Plus with parent controls, animal, sport videos
Are Video Games Ok?
Read Dr. Leonard Sax’s book BOYS ADRIFT, the subtitle alone affirms what we are seeing: The Five Factors Driving the Growing Epidemic of Unmotivated Boys and Underachieving Young Men
What is the Connection Between Video Games & Porn?
“Once many children reach puberty, the neural networks established for video-game addiction leave them vulnerable to addiction to pornography. The neurological grooves created for VG get filled by the next addictive process.”
Jay Stringer, Unwanted
What Age Should I Give My Child a Smartphone
This chart was a great visual for us to help us have this conversation. What we wanted to teach is smartphones are not a right, it’s a privilege. It’s also not a toy, it’s a tool. Also, the first phone will not be a smartphone. As trust, responsibility, and self-control are demonstrated, we will assess, slowly. We are not guided by peer pressure and no, you are not the only one, but you are a leader!
What Do We Do?
These are the 4 norms that Dr. Haidt says can REVERSE the anxiety epidemic in two years!! Let’s all jump on board! The more of us who do this, the faster we will save childhoods!
- No smartphones until high school (doesn’t count flip phones)
- No social media until 16
- No phones at school
- More independence, free play, and responsibility
Have more questions?
I am not a therapist or a specialist! However, I have lived with survivors of sexual exploitation, I worked for a frontline organization for 18 years, researched the sex trade while traveling through South and South East Asia, and made it my focus during my BA. Currently, I am doing a lot of research and trying to stay up to date on all these interconnected issues. If I can point you in the right direction, please contact me.